lonelyvomit

homunculus-argument:

yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I’ve met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend

  • extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people
  • my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I’ve had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they’re gone
  • haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles
  • can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way
  • can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I’m done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up
  • can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap
  • cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.
  • unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily
  • will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.
lonelyvomit

lonelyvomit:

I’m trying really hard to find a non-sarcastic way of pointing out that every god damn time a band member leaves, a band is put through this circus of suddenly having all their interactions put under a microscope and anything other than hugs and kisses are suddenly deemed “visible tension” and there’s theories of long running festering feuds and fights and anger and fallouts regardless of the band stating the reasons for the split in an announcement and all parties confirming they’re still friends. like. god, why does this happen every time? are we that desperate to have someone to point a finger at that creative differences or shifted priorities in life will never be enough? I get that Joel is everyone’s poor little meow meow right now but maybe a man who has talked about not sleeping for days at a time, being homeless during touring and always drinking wine before shows saying “my health just cant do that anymore” could be telling the truth and we don’t actually need to put the rest of the band through rigorous psychological assessments and profiling and investigation, cus chances are they’re just as if not more upset than us about losing a bandmate. how is the response always to throw the remaining band into a centrifuge until we find the answers we *want* because the ones we are given are never good enough?